Wish I was there
by Carody Culver
Welcome to the ultimate COVID-19 pandemic holiday destination: your home! Filled with all the amenities you already know and love and probably haven’t paid off yet, your humble abode can give you a truly unique holiday experience when you’re in isolation—one without the expense, the hassle or the fun. So relax, unwind and let familiarity breed a new kind of contempt!
Here’s our handy round-up of the top in-home destinations to occupy your body and mind while you’re on the domestic adventure of a lifetime.
Ready to burn off those holiday calories before you’ve even consumed them? Then it’s time for you to do some housework! Put your leisure time to productive use by engaging in a little light aerobic cleaning activity—we recommend scrubbing the shower stall to really get those arm muscles working, but you can also try vacuuming, dusting, rearranging the pantry, or colour-coordinating your bed linen. With each housework activity, you’ll pass at least thirty minutes of time as you spruce up your surroundings to create a truly lemon-fresh holiday experience. (And don’t forget—you can do housework in any room of your home!)
Been putting off writing that book? Now’s the time to let those creative juices come gushing out of you! Dig out that half-finished family memoir about the time your Aunty Bev lived next door to a serial killer and once had a full five-minute conversation with him about the local property market; dust off that Veep meets MacGyver TV fantasy script about a crime-fighting vice-president who believes in science. Remember: literally tens of people on the internet are dying to know about your daily word count and all the other amazing creative projects you’ve completed during lockdown! Don’t disappoint them or yourself!
Welcome to your very own entertainment centre: the living room. Here, you’ll enjoy a huge array of premium streaming services that, if you add them up (another great holiday activity!), cost you an eye-watering amount of money each month. And that’s not all: their delivery of quality content is emphatically lacking! You’ll pass hours of time by simply scrolling through everything you don’t want to watch—and if you’ve got company, this activity will give you and your lucky isolation holiday companions plenty to argue about as you try to settle on a film or series that none of you will enjoy! (Remember, conflict is healthy, even on holiday!)
Think that’s everything your living room has to offer? Think again! You can also read or stare out the window.
After all that strenuous holiday activity, you’re probably ready for a lie down—so just as well you’ve got your very own bedroom to do it in! Remember to change your sheets for that genuine hotel room experience. If you want the full package, consider purchasing a small (preferably functional) fridge from Facebook Marketplace (contact-free delivery only!) and jam it under a table to create your very own minibar. Your bedroom is an ideal spot for scrolling through social media until your eyes bleed, or simply lying motionless in a thought spiral of anxiety and self-doubt. Just sit back and enjoy the ride—you’ve earned it!